Soft Pretzels - Probaby the best Pretzels in the World!

Warm Soft Pretzels and Cold Beer - does it get any better without gravy?

For 1 dozen 6-inch Pretzels 

• 1 tbsp or 1x7g package of fast action yeast (or equivalent)
• 1 tbsp sugar (I used soft brown this time)
• 1 tsp salt
• 2 tbsp softened butter, softened margarine lard or shortening - pick your clogger
• 250g of warm (40 - 45 degC) water
• 450g cups plain or bread flour
• Coarse Salt or sea salt to sprinkle on Pretzels before baking
• 2 tbsp baking soda mixed in 2 pints of water in a non-aluminum saucepan.
• 1 large slotted spoon to "go fishing" for them pretzels.

Preheat oven to 250 degC

Put yeast, sugar, salt, butter/marg, water and 165g of the flour into a medium mixing bowl and pour in the water.  Stir until it's all smooth and leave somewhere warm until yeast starts to bubble.

At this point add the rest of the flour, stir till it is mixed in. When mixture is too stiff to stir with a spoon, begin kneading.

Knead dough till it's smooth.  Place back into cleaned out mixing bowl, sprayed with water and then spray the dough a bit.

Cover with cling film and place somewhere warm then allow dough to rise to about double its volume.  While dough is rising, bring water and baking soda to boil.

When dough is risen enough, punch down, knead for a minute or so, then divide into 12 equal pieces and roll into either 6-inch sticks with your hands, to about 1/2 inch in diameter, or 12-15-inch long rolls to make into the pretzel shape.  I like to make them taper away from a thicker middle to thinner ends to get the classic pretzel shape (below).

To make the classic 'Pretzel' shape follow, start with this shape.

and then fold the top half back towards you like this and push the ends down (or brush lightly with water to seal)

Allow sticks or pretzels to sit for about 1-2 mins. Place them into boiling water-baking soda mixture one or two at a time.

Let the pretzels boil for 1 minute 10 seconds, then flip them over with the slotted spoon and boil on the other side for 1 minute and 10 seconds.

This boiling step gives them a firm skin and adds some flavour. Not boiling long enough leaves them too soft and allows them to rise too much. Boiling too long makes them tough.

Fish them out of the water, let them drip dry a bit and place them on a lightly greased or non-stick baking tray.  When all the pretzels or sticks are done, sprinkle the coarse salt on them.  (I've made 6 pretzels like that and 6 sticks with a vinegar/salt/mustard glaze as shown below, with the RH 3 having fresh ground black pepper added for a wee kick.  1tbsp white wine vinegar, 1/2 tsp of sea salt and a teaspoon of Dijon mustard)

Bake for 12-15 minutes or till sticks or pretzels are golden brown.

Old Salty - from Corned Beef to Pastrami to a Reuben, from scratch.

This is an ongoing post, being created 'live' as we go.  If it appears unfinished at this time, that's because the beef is still in my fridge corning away quite happily.

Not to be confused with tinned 'Bully Beef' or the sliced stuff you buy from supermarket (ahem) Deli counters, proper Corned Beef is a different beast altogether.  More often referred to as Salt Beef in this county, it is an almost forgotten delicacy and a dying art, probably because it needs so much aforethought and a bit of preparation and looking after.  It's not exactly a fast or convenient food, but all you really need to do is think, 'In a couple of weeks, I REALLY want to be eating some good Corned Beef'.  Once you've tasted the results of the simple process of making Corned Beef, I guarantee you that if you love good food, then you will be making this regularly.  Then, once you've mastered Corned Beef, Pastrami is only one small step away.  Imagine making your own Pastrami and NEVER having to put up with that pale, tasteless imitation that you can buy pre-packed and sliced from supermarket shelves.

Basically, Corned Beef is a beef joint, usually Brisket, that has been, well, 'corned' (The clue is in the name).  Corning is simply a process of curing something in brine - probably coming from the coarse salt 'corns' that were used at one time to salt the beef as ordinary table salt was too fine for the job.  These days, it's more common to cure the beef joint in a brine solution.  The basic brine solution is the important thing and then then you can add some other spicey bits to personalise it and add more flavours.

WARNING - Prepare for this part now. You WILL need a food grade plastic tub with tight fitting lid, big enough to hold a large beef brisket and the brine.  Minimum 5 litres depending on how big you want your beef joint to be.

Remember, this is a long time curing process and at ALL STAGES ensure the utmost hygiene is observed.  Any bacteria that get onto the tub or meat will be dying to spoil your party and waste all your beef, never mind 2 weeks or more of waiting.

The basic brine is:

• 2 litres of water.
• 240g of table salt. (Cheap salt is good, but make sure it has no additives)

That's all you really need to get going, but if you're like me you will want to boost it up a bit and add some more flavour layers.  You can add a couple of tablespoons of shop-bought pickling spics, but I tend just to make my own version with whatever is at hand, like the following.

• 1tbsp of coriander seeds
• 1tsp of cumin seeds
• 1tbsp of black peppercorns
• 1tsp of mustard seeds
• 1tsp of cloves
• A couple of bay leaves
• A pile of peeled, raw garlic cloves.
• You can also use sugar. Sometime I do, sometimes I don't.

Another thing that you can add for a more authentic Corned Beef is a 1/2 tsp of Saltpetre (Potassium Nitrate) for every 2 litres of water.  However, I advise caution with this and suggest that you search the internet and make up your own mind on this.  Personally I use it as it helps to keep the solution sterile AND it keeps the cooked meats a nice 'pink' colour.  It has little if any affect on taste.  If you don't use it, the only thing you will see is that the cooked meats are a more 'grey' colour inside instead of the traditional pink of Corned Beef and Pastrami.

I put all the seeds (not the garlic cloves) into a small ceramic dish and then zap them in the microwave (uncovered) for 30 seconds or until you hear them sizzle a little, but you can dry fry them for the same effect.

Ignore all those recipes that call for 'Sea Salt', that's an expensive waste of money as it's all getting dissolved into solution anyway.  If you need more or less brine, it's simple to work out as the basic brine recipe is 12% salt to water. So for every litre of water you need 120g of salt.  (a litre of water weights 1kg or 1000g so multiply 1000 by 0.12 and hey presto)

Bring the water to the boil and then add the salt.  Stir to dissolve it and then remove from the heat, cover and leave to go cold.

In the meantime, prepare your beef.  You've probably bought your beef from your local butcher or supermarket and it's most likely rolled and tied.  Well untie it and unroll it and you're good to go.

Brine ready to go and a couple of untied, unrolled briskets.

In the photo above, there's a couple of unrolled briskets with a nice thin layer of fat still on them.  They are about 2kg each, perfect size for corning and making one into a Corned Beef and one into a Pastrami.

For 2 briskets above, I'll be using 2 tubs and 2 quantities (2 litres each) of brine solution.  Pour the COLD brine into your clean (sterilised) plastic container and add in any pickling spice and the garlic cloves that you want to use.  Put the beef into the solution and make sure it is completely covered and stays covered.  If you need to, put a sterilised (boiled) plate on top to hold the beef under.  Any exposed beef will go bad and spoil the whole thing.  Put the lid on and put the container into your fridge on the bottom shelf, right at the back and leave it there for 2 to 3 weeks, depending on the thickness of the beef.  The briskets above will be getting a fortnight of rest.  Every day I like to give the tub a little shake to agitate the brine and the spices and make sure all the meat is getting a good brining.  It's a good idea to check every day to make sure the beef is fully covered as well.

See you all in a fortnight.  The beef will be getting cooked on March 2nd and eaten March 3rd.  Salivating already.

12 days have now passed but not a day has gone passed without dreaming of pastrami.  So, now it's time to take the slabs of potential heaven out the brine, rinse and then let soak in fresh water for 24 hours.  This is not totally necessary if you' remaking just corned beef as you can just cooked it in spiced, unsalted water.  I've decided to make 2 Pastramis so I want to soak it before rubbing and smoking.

Rinse and then soak in clean, fresh water for 24hrs to remove a lot of the salt.

In the meantime, start to think about your Pastrami dry rub(s).  Here's the 2 that I'll be using, this time. (These make a lot, probably enough to cover 5 or 6 briskets (but it will keep), so if you need less then adjust down.  Grind the rubs together in a food processor.

Rub 1

 
Rub 1 - with fresh garlic.

1 cup coriander seed

½ cup black peppercorn

½ cup black or yellow mustard seeds (or you could just use a couple of tbsp of mustard powder)

¼ cup Spanish paprika

½ cup brown sugar

6 cloves garlic (or more to taste)

Rub 2 - Sichuan pepper (left) and black mustard

Rub 2 - with Sichuan pepper for umami.
½ cup coriander seed
½ cup black peppercorns
½ cup black mustard seeds (the Indian kind)
¼ cup Spanish paprika
¼ cup Sichuan peppercorns
1 cup of brown sugar
½ cup garlic powder.

Rub 2 is my own new creation getting tried out for a first time, today.  We'll see how it goes.

Put it all into a tight sealing tub and put away in the cupboard (not the fridge)

See y'all in 24hrs.......

Drained and Dried off

Now take the beef out, drain it and pat dry with kitchen roll.  For 'scale' that's a full size chef's knife next to the Beef.  The fat on top needs to be left on and make sure this is on top when smoking as it will help keep the meat moist.

Superb grain.  Note the colour has stayed pink due to the Saltpetre.

Notice the grain of the meat.  Keep this in mind when it comes to the finished article as you want to be cutting ACROSS the grain when serving.  The meat keeps it's lovely pink colour through the brining process - and through the cooking process - due to the saltpetre.


Cover your meats with the dry rubs and rub in well, all over and keep rubbing until they are all coated and the seeds are pushed well into the meat and fat.

Rubbed and ready to smoke.  Rub 1 on the left and my new creation, rub 2 on the right.

And, into the smoker they go for 4 hours of smoking with another 4 to 6 hours (or maybe more) of continued cooking (in the smoker but with smoke turned off)

The birth and growing up of a Panuozzo

This is simply a photo journal of the evolution of a Panuozzo from dough to plate.  Click on the first photo to open a bigger photo and a slide show viewer (click on the thumbnails below the main photo that opens)

Well risen pizza dough

Turn out onto well floured surface

Stretch out and shape into a 'Ciabatta' style

Pre heat your pizza stone to HOT!!

Slide your breads onto the stone.

After a few minutes, breads will start to puff up and brown.

When almost done, remove to worksurface

Split open and add pizza sauce

Add more pizza type toppings of your choice

Close over and slide back onto stone and bake until everything is hot and melted

When steaming hot, melted and cripsy - remove, cool
a bit then devour with a large glass of wine or 3

DOH!! Cream Cheese Pastry - Pastry for men...

This is a pastry for men who like it a bit more flaky but don't want to phaff about with light, fluffy, tender, shortcrust pastry that needs treating with girly gloves.  Don't use a rolling pin to roll it out, use an empty whisky bottle and smoke a cigar at the same time.
 

This makes enough pastry for a 10" pie, bottom and top.  If you only want a pastry case bottom, then adjust the numbers.You will need:

• 115g of unsalted butter at room temp
• 115g of cream cheese at room temp
• 60ml of double cream
• 180g of plain flour + a wee bit more for rolling pastry out
• 1/2 tsp of salt

 Put on some really loud, hardcore rock music and make sure your wall mounted Playboy Calendar is opened at Miss August and start making the pastry.

1.  Process the butter, cream cheese, and cream in a food processor, electric mixer, or by hand to thoroughly combine.

2.  Add the flour and salt. Process until just combined and the dough holds together in a ball. Turn the dough out onto a well-floured surface. Divide into 2 equal lumps. Flatten slightly into disks and wrap each in plastic wrap. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes before rolling out, longer is better. If the dough is chilled overnight, take it out 15 minutes before rolling out.

3.  Rub flour all over a rolling pin (or whisky bottle) in a manly fashion while looking at Miss August adoringly and winking.  Place one of the dough disks on a well-floured surface. Applying some pressure with the rolling pin, roll gently from the centre of the dough to the top and bottom edges. Rotate the disk and roll to the top and bottom edges again. Add more flour to the work surface and rolling pin, turn the dough over, and continue to roll the dough from the centre out to the edges. Turn over and roll again, rotating the disk to ensure even rolling until the dough is about 12 inches in diameter, thin but not transparent.  Repeat with the other other dough disk.

Use pastry as required and give Miss August one more manly wink before hiding her back in the drawer before you wife comes in.

Enjoy.

Pizza, Pizza, Panuozzo...???

Probably the most inspiring sandwich you'll ever make.  You cook the bread and the sandwich almost at the same time - could bread GET any fresher?  One of the best things about this sandwich is that it's hot so everything you put into it all comes together in one juicy, tasty, steaming, melting pile of deliciousness on a plate.  Best of all, it's simple. Once you've mastered the pizza dough, then making this is even easier than pulling a pizza base.

Make a Pizza Dough with 58% to 60% hydration.  i.e. 500g of flour to  290g to 300g of water.  500g of flour is enough to make 2 x 12inch breads.

Divide the dough into 2, put into tubs and leave to rest in the fridge overnight or up to 2 days.  Continue to follow the Pizza Dough instructions up to the point of doubling in size.  You will need to judge how cold or warm your kitchen is to figure out how long to leave them rising.  They need to rise SLOWLY so you want them somewhere less than room temperature for 6 to 10 hours.

Remember, they are starting out well chilled so it will take a couple of hours just for the yeasts to realise it's time they starting gorging themselves.  Be patient.

When your dough is good to go, put your pizza stone in the oven (preferably fan assisted) and fire it up to it's hottest and then when it reaches it's hottest, give it another 15 minutes to get the stone saturated with heat.  Or do what I do in good weather - fire up the wood fired oven and do it right :-)

Slide the dough onto the stone and let it cook until you see it puffing up and starting to go golden.  IT should take about 4 to 6 minutes depending on how hot your oven is.  It'll only take about 2 minutes in a WFO.  You need to get it out when it's only about 90% done.

Take it out and carefully (its full of scalding steam remember) cut it open along 3 sides and fold it open like a hot book.  Spread some pizza sauce on the open face of the bottom half, top with sauteed onions, ham, salami, cheese - basically anything you'd put on a pizza or a big sandwich - and then fold it closed.  Slide it back into the oven and continue cooking until the stuffing starts to sizzle and the cheese melts right through.  I sometimes like to cook mine until the dough start to blacken at the edges but I refrained for these photos.  Well cooked and crispy is just my preference.

Remove from the oven and put onto a plate or chopping board and allow to cool slightly.  The Panuozzo will be so hot inside that you will burn the skin of your mouth and I'm not insured so you can't sue me like you would McDonald's.  Ciao and Gustare.

PS - 'Panuozzo' is the Neapolitan for this pizza bread.  You might also see it called Panino di Gragnano or Pizza e Panuozzo.  Whatever it's called, I think it's a bit like a fresh made Ciabatta but only way better than anything you buy in a supermarket.  I'm still 'tinkering' with the recipe and the cooking method so I may post some more photos below later.

If you want grain, sew da bread. Sorry, SODA BREAD.

Quick, easy and hearty.  Soda bread, made slightly heartier for that winter lunchtime snack.  'Traditional' (yawn) recipes either use wholemeal or plain flour, but I had some other flours lying about so I decided to chunk up the dough a bit.

Soda Bread cooling on a wire rack.

I used:  (FYI - I nicked the basic recipe from Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall and manned it up)

• 100g of Spelt Flour
• 100g of Granary Flour
• 250g of Strong White Flour
• 2 tsp of bicarbonate of soda
• 1 tsp of salt
• 300ml of cultured buttermilk (Sound weird?  You can buy this in most supermarkets.  In Sainsbury's it's near the cream and yoghurt section.  If you can't find it, use a live natural yoghurt instead.)
• 50ml of milk

Preheat oven to 200degC (fan 180).  You need the oven to be hot before the dough is ready as you want the dough straight in the oven as soon as it is mixed and the bicarb is still working away strongly.

Mix the flours (use any combination you want) with the salt and bicarbonate in a large mixing bowl and make a well in the middle.  Pour the buttermilk into the well and then use the milk to rinse out the tub and add that to the bowl as well.  No point in wasting all the butterymilk goodness.

Using a spoon, stir the buttermilk and gradually work your way out into the four so that the flour starts to mix into the milk.  Keep doing this until it is mostly incorporated and then get one of your hands messy.  Clean the spoon off with one hand and then use that hand to finish mixing the dough until it is well mixed up.  If you need to add a little flour do it now and do it quickly.  You want a dough that is still slightly sticky without being wet.

Tip the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and continue to kneed until well mixed, but do not over kneed this. A minute is more than enough for kneeding, less is better.  You are not looking for a smooth, elastic dough like for yeast bread.

Shape the dough into a rough round and put onto a floured baking sheet or like me, on a baking sheet covered with a silicone sheet that has been well floured.  (I use silicone sheets a lot).  Dust generously with flour and then with a long, sharp serrated knife, cut a cross in the dough to a depth of about half to 2/3 deep.

Put it right in the oven and cook for 40mins or until the bread sounds hollow when tapped. underneath.  If it still sounds 'heavy' give it another 5 minutes.

When done, take it out and leave to cool slightly on a wire rack for a crunchy crust.  Eat while still warm with butter and jam or like me, with salted butter and strong cheese.  When it goes cold simply toast it and add even more butter.

Blondies. I'd call them 'Dumb Brownies but that's not PC.

Blondies - the lighter, less chocolatey version of Brownies, but even better with a cuppa good coffee.  VERY easy to make and hardly any washing up.  My kinda cake.

You will need:

• 115g of butter
• 100g of packed soft brown sugar (packed means straight from the bag, not loosened up)
• 2 Eggs
• 225g of plain flour
• 1/2 tsp of salt
• 2 tsps of baking powder
• 1 tsp of vanilla extract
• 150g to 180g of good, dark chocolate chunks or broken squares.
• 75g of sliced almonds
• Handful of chopped walnuts or pistachios or...

How to make:
1.  Pre heat oven to 180degC (fan 160) and prepare (grease with butter and line the bottom) a baking pan about 10" square. 
2 - In a pot big enough to hold about 6 pints of water, melt the butter over a low heat until just melted.  Do not overheat the butter - you're about to add raw eggs and you don't want them to scramble.
3  - Add the sugar and eggs (take them out the shell first smarty)
4 - Stir through and then beat until well blended.
5 - Stir in the next 4 ingredients and then fold in the chocolate chunks and almonds.
6 - Spread mixture into prepared tin and evenly distribute.  Sprinkle with the nuts.
7 - Bake in centre of oven for 30 minutes or until the old toothpick comes out clean.
8 - Cool on wire rack and then cut into 16 squares (if using a 10 x 10 inch tin).
9 - Make a good cup of coffee and use to wash down 2 or 3 Blondies when cool enough to eat, but not cold.

Remove from tin and leave to cool on a wire rack.

While cooling, make a good cuppa coffee and then cut into squares and eat a few while still warm.

A Carrot Cake, too 'carroty' for rabbits.

Carrot Cake.  A wee bit of planning and effort, but not too much.  Relatively easy to make and guaranteed to impress.  Add a glass of bubbly and you're in like Flynn, or Flynnetta.

It's a Carrot Cake - It's meant to taste good, not look pretty.  I don't do pretty, you can't eat pretty.

Read this recipe right through BEFORE attempting it.

You will need 2 x 9inch loose bottomed cake tins, lightly greased with butter and the bottoms lined with greaseproof paper.

For the Cake.

• 400g of plain flour
• 1 tbsp of baking powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 tsp of cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp of allspice
• 1/2 tsp of mixed spice
• 100g of soft brown sugar
• 100g of dark brown sugar
• 3 large eggs
• 200ml of vegetable oil
• 100g of carrot puree (boil carrots until soft and then blitz in a mini blender or mash through a sieve)
• 250g of coarsely grated carrot
• 100g of raisins or sultanas (I like to soak mine overnight in some brandy or rum or..)
• 150g of coarsely chopped walnuts (or pecans)  Save 50g for topping the cake
• 100g of flaked almonds  Save 50g for topping the cake
• 75g of dessicated coconut
• 100g of chopped pineapple (rings or chunks, squeezed to get rid of a lot of the excess juice)
• Zest of an orange, some chopped candied orange peel or a tsp of good quality orange extract.  Whatever you have

For the Frosting/Icing/Covering and filling.

• 150g of unsalted butter at room temperature.  Hopefully your room is warm as the butter needs to be soft.
• 60g of icing sugar
• 300g of cream cheese
• 1tsp cinnamon
• 1tsp vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 180deg C or 160deg C for a fan oven.

1.  Put the sugars, eggs and vegetable oil into a large bowl and whisk until well mixed and sugar is mostly dissolved (at least no lumps).  Don't even think about using a hand whisk - use an electric beater. Start slow and then increase the speed as you get things mixing.
2.  Add the flour, baking powder, salt and spices to the sugar mixture and mix well until all incorporated.
3.  Add all the rest of the cake ingredients and mix well.
4.  Divide the mixture equally between the 2 prepared cake tins.
5.  Put both tins into the oven on the same shelf.  And if now is the time that you are cursing me because your oven is too wee - not my fault, you should have read the recipe through like I told you at the beginning.
6.  Bake for about 30 minutes or until cakes show signs of shrinking away from the edges of the tins and a toothpick comes out clean.  Yes, the old 'toothpick' trick, again.
7.  Remove cakes from oven and leave to cool slightly in the tins for about 10 minutes, then remove them with the loose bottoms and slide them onto a wire rack to cool further.  After a wee while, slide the cakes off the cake tin bottoms onto the wire rack to cool completely.  When fully cold (and not before), remove the greaseproof paper from the bottom of the cakes.
8.  While cakes are cooling, make the frosting.  Beat the butter and sugar together until smooth.
9.  Add the cream cheese and beat into butter mixture.  Make sure it is very smooth.
10.  Add the cinnamon and vanilla extract and mix them in well.  Leave in the fridge to firm up for a wee while.
11.  When the cakes are cold, top one of them with about half of the frosting, spread evenly across the cake.  Place the other half on top and cover the top of that one with the rest of the frosting, again spread evenly right to the edges.  Top the cake with the remaining nuts.  You DID remember to save 50g of each of the nuts like I told you to?
12.  Make a good cup of coffee, cut a slice of cake and take a break.  While you are relaxing, start planning who you will seduce into bed with this cake.  Probably the best cake in the world.  Oh wait a minute,for that to be true it might need a bit more alcohol in it next next time.

ENJOY!

Serving Suggestion :-)

Pizza, Pizza, Pizza - the big tops. Part Two.

Pizza Toppings part 2 - just for a feature of interest and a quick run through.  Well, really it was just to keep part one shorter so you didn't fall asleep.

Sauce, Truffle Oil, Red Pepper, Oregano, Fresh Mozzarella, Basil, Sautéed Onions, Grated Mozzarella, Anchovies, Capers, Black Olives, Salami and Garlic, Fresh Parmesan and Mushrooms.

Sauce, salami, cheese, garlic, olive oil - ready to go into the WFO.

Coming soon - how to cook pizza to perfection.

Pizza, Pizza, Pizza - the big tops. Part One.

Ok, now that you have your dough and your sauce made you're ready to go and build a pizza.  Be scared, be VERY scared as the pizzademons know you are coming and if you don't come prepared then they'll smack you.  So get prepared!  As chefs would say, get your Mise en Place ready to go, or as Anthony Bourdain calls it, his meez.  At this point, to help keep the pizzademons at bay, a large glass of whatever kind of (good) wine that will go with your master creation should be poured and put to one side within easy reach.  If you're not a wine drinker (become one before you get too much older) then a large, very cold glass of your favourite beer will do but you need to add 2 peeled cloves of garlic on a thread hanging round your neck as well.  Good Luck and Buona fortuna.

From this point on you you need to think like an old world Italian, better still like a 'Napoletano'.  If for some reason you came to this blog thinking 'deep pan' or 'Chicago style' then drink your beer, suck on the garlic gloves and get back on your horse now, cowboy.  This is old school pizza - you should haver figured that out a few posts ago when I asked you to spend so long making your own dough and sauce from scratch.  Did I ask you to buy a ready made, deep pan piece of carpet underlay and a jar of Dolmio pizza sauce - did I?  If you're still here and reading this then, PHEW!! at least we are still 'on the same page' and thinking about real, pizza.  The kind that Giuseppe makes all his life and that we want to make and get as close as we can to 'Verace Pizza Napoletana' or Authentic Naples Pizza.

Enough yakking, let's create a pizza.  First, some toppings for your meez.

Some toppings - I used these for the pizza stone pizzas (coming later).  Clockwise from L-R as best I can.  Mushrooms, garlic oil, oregano, capers, black olives, the sauce, grated mozzarella, anchovies, salami, fried chicken breast pieces.

Now, let's get your bases ready to go.  Take one of your dough balls and... well I've just thought of another step I might need to put in here - how to stretch your pizza dough,  Damn, that will have to come later and you'll have to bare with me for now.

Turn out your ball of dough onto a lightly floured, smooth work surface.  Sprinkle more flour on top of the ball and then use your finger tips to flatten the ball and push out to shape.  Using only your finger tips at this time, use a flattening/pushing action while at the same time rotating the dough to try and keep it roughly round.  Do not use a rolling pin, you will regret it - just don't do it.  Once your pizza base is about 8 inches or so diameter, it will become harder to get much more shaping out of it with just your fingertips.  Start to use the flat of your hands and push and twist the pizza to stretch and rotate it at the same time.  You really need to 'feel' this and you are aiming for an even, thin base across more than 10 inches of the base with a thicker edge to the dough about a half inch to an inch wide at most all the way around the pizza.  (Idiot guide - 10+ inches of thin base across the centre of the pizza and an average of a one inch 'border' will give you about a 12 inch pizza)

I like to put my bases onto those thin plastic chopping boards (you can buy them in supermarkets) for moving about the work area.  I like to prepare all my bases first and then add the toppings.  I usually prepare 4 bases and then allow them to rest a little while before using them.

Next, it's time to get creative and this is now up to you.  Add some sauce and spread it about the base from the centre out but leaving the thicker edge clear.  You only want enough sauce so that the base is thinly covered.  If you were to turn the base upside down then almost nothing would fall off, it's that well spread out.  Then add the toppings of your choice.  Again, less is better and please, generally not more than 2 or 3 main ingredients as the focal point for your pizza with some other 'flavour/texture' toppings.  The more toppings you pile on the linger they take to cook - and pizza should cook quickly.  You'll see what I mean later.

Chicken, mushroom, capers, black olives and cheese with a little garlic oil on to.  Ready to cook.

There you go, a pizza ready to go into the oven.  Cook until it's ready in the hottest oven you have.  On a pizza stone in a domestic oven or right on the hearth of a wood fired oven.  That and more, coming soon.

Double Cocolate Chip Muffins

A Muffin is a Muffin is a Muffin - but they come in endless variations.  Within reason, chuck in what you want.  In fact, screw reason - it's your muffin and your chance to create.  Go for it.

Here's my attempt at Double Choccy Chip.  'Double' because it's a chocolate muffin with chocolate chips in it.  Makes 6 large muffins, so you'll need a muffin tray with 6 cups each about 7.5cm across by 4cm deep.

• 240g of plain flour
• 1 tbsp baking powder (edit: try 2/3 tbsp - I found mine 'bloomed' a little bit too much)
• 1/2 tsp of salt
• 130g soft brown sugar
• 2 tbsp of cocoa powder
• 100g of butter (barely melted, not boiling - I thought I'd try this instead of rubbing it in)
• 1 egg
• 100ml (100g) of milk
• 1/2 tsp almond extract or vanilla extract, who cares as long as you like it (optional)
• 100g of chopped plain chocolate (not chocolate flavoured topping)

1 - Preheat the oven to 200degC (180 for fan oven).  Prepare your muffin tins by lightly greasing them (with butter), even if they are non-stick.

2 - In a bowl, mix together the flour, baking powder, salt, sugar and cocoa powder.  Drizzle the melted butter quickly all over the flour mixture and stir in right away.
3 - In a small bowl, add the egg, milk and extract (if using) and lightly whisk together until combined.  Pour into the flour mixture and quickly mix through until all the flour is mixed in, but don't over mix.  STOP!! as soon as you see all the 'dryness' of the flour gone.  The mixture should be slightly lumpy.  Tip the chocolate bits into the mixture and fold through a bit.

4 - Divide the mixture equally between the 6 muffin cups.

Put into a preheated oven at 200degC (fan 180degC) and cook for about 25 to 30 mins until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.  Remember that there is melted chocolate bits in there so it is 'free from muffin mix' you are looking for. If it comes out covered in chocolate, test another muffin.  Personally, I'd rather have a slightly undercooked, but moist muffin than an overcooked, dry one.  But that's just me.

Muffins Before Cooking

Muffins After Cooking

RAIN ALERT - Make Muffins to kill time.

It was pouring down, dull and miserable - just a typical day in Scotland really.  I had everything in the house I needed, so decided to make some muffins to go with the mug of coffee I was looking forward to after being dragged out by the dogs for an afternoon walk.  The muffins could cool while I was out getting soaked and freezing.

Enough to make 6 BIG muffins - enough to last 2 days, at most.  Make sure you have big muffin cups in your tray, 7.5cm wide x 4cm deep is about right, or make more, smaller ones.  It's not rocket science.

You will need:
>  250g of plain flour.
>  140g of sugar. Use simple granulated, castor, light brown, or whatever you have (not icing sugar)
>  1tbsp of baking powder.
>  3/4 tsp of salt.
>  120g of butter.
>  1 large egg.
>  100ml of milk.
>  1/2 tsp of vanilla extract.  I actually used 1/4 each of vanilla and orange, but you could add some almond if that's what you have.  I also sneaked in a half tsp of mixed spice - use what you want.
>  A big handful of 'fruity' stuff, about 150g should be enough.  I used halved glace cherries, raisins and some chopped candied peel.  Use what you have lying about.

Note - these are muffins, not some airyfairy, artyfarty, baked creation that needs to be measured down to fractions of a gram and cooked to the exact second.  Muffins are far more forgiving than most baked goods.

1 - Preheat the oven to 200degC (180 for fan oven).  Prepare your muffin tins by lightly greasing them (with butter), even if they are non-stick.
2 - In a bowl, mix together the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt.
3 - Cut the butter into small cubes roughly about 1cm or less.  Tip that into the flour mixture and rub in with your fingers until you get the proverbial breadcrumb resemblance - or use a 'pastry blender' if you like more washing up.
4 - In a small bowl, beat the egg, milk and extracts until blended.  Don't over beat so the eggs become fluffy - no point in doing any more elbow work than necessary.
5 - Pour egg mixture into flour mixture all in one go.  Stir the mixture until it is just mixed and all the 'dryness' of the flour has gone.  It should be lumpy and again, do not over mix.  Not only is it not necessary, but it also makes for denser, heavy muffins.
6 - Tip the fruity bits in and fold through until just mixed in.
7 - Spoon mixture into the prepared muffin cups.  For 6 muffins using similar size of pan mentioned above, each cup should be filled almost to the top.  Push any cherry bits into the mixture so they don't dry out or burn first.  If all goes well this should create a perfectly shaped muffin top - the kind you see hanging over jeans all too often :-)
8 - Put into oven and bake for about 25 minutes until a toothpick inserted into middle of a muffin comes out clean.  Tip - If using a non-fan oven I like to rotate tray 180degrees after about 15 minutes to get even cooking on the tops.
9 - Let cool a bit and then remove from tray.  Eat warm or cool on wire rack for a chewier top.
10 - You can zap one for 30 seconds in the microwave later, but regardless - Enjoy.

Steakhouse Burgers, and neigh messin' (sorry).

If food be the foundation of life then burgers are one of it's building blocks.  A good burger is the cornerstone of....  Ok, let's forget the 'building' analogies and get back to the Meat.

If you want a good burger or a great burger, and you don't want to have to pay through the nose for it or run the risk of being very disappointed by some so called Steakhouse (or Bar and Grill) chef's attempt, then you've just got to make it yourself.  It's the ONLY way to guarantee that what you are eating is what you want to be eating and that it will taste like you want and expect it to taste.
 Note:  If you even think about using shop bought mince then leave this website now - this is NOT for you.

There are MANY ways to make a burger and I'm sure there's more than one right way, but here's my way.  This is for Steakhouse burgers, which are thick and juicy.  We will cover the thinner 'diner type' burgers at another time.

First of all, start with some fatty, cheapish steaks.  These are shoulder steaks, but some steaks just won't work.  Rumps steak may be cheaper, but it has very little fat to talk of.  Ribeye and Sirloin are even better, but do you really want to grind up a good sirloin or ribeye for a burger?   Shoulder is a nice tasting piece of meat and just the right balance of lean to fat.  About 80% lean to 20% fat is about right.

In the beginning, steak - just steak.

First thing to remember when making your burgers is to keep the meat cold at all times.  You do not want the fat starting to warm up, rendering and spoiling your finished burger.

Cut the steaks into smaller 1inch chunks, something that will fit easily into your grinder/mincer, then grind it with the largest aperture for the coarsest mince.  Only pass the meat through the mincer one time.

Grind it up.

Catch it in a metal bowl that has been chilled in the fridge/freezer and as soon as you are done, cover the bowl with cling film and put it in the fridge right away.  Now clean down your mincer and clear away your workspace - then have a cuppa coffee and a seat and dream of Burger Heaven.

Now you need to prepare your own 'secret' seasoning mix.  Here's mine and sorry, I'm not telling you yet, I hardly know you for Pete's sake.

Seasoning secrets and well chilled meat.

Sprinkle half the season over the meat and fold it through with a fork, but don't over mix the meat and cause it to lose texture.  Then sprinkle the second half over and then carefully mix through again.

Seasoned meat - note that it is still coarse and open textured

Quickly re-cover the bowl with cling film and chuck it back in the fridge for at least an hour or more.


(Update - Jan 10th 2016) TO BE CONTINUED!!

Pizza Pizza Pizza - Sauce

After creating a masterpiece of a base for your pizza, you need to lavish it with the best tomato sauce you can.  The sauce is the element that underpins the whole taste of the pizza and is also the bed that all the other ingredients rest upon.  It should be rich and flavoursome but simple enough not to overpower the class of the toppings you expect to put on it.

There is nothing fancy in a tomato sauce.  It can be as simple as just tomatoes but usually a little pepping up helps the overall depth of flavour.  Firstly, do not be shy or embarrassed about using tinned tomatoes - they are your best option when making sauces like this.  But, make sure you buy the best tinned tomatoes that you can.  Pizza enthusiast the world over agree that San Marzano tinned tomatoes are the best ones, but they are hard to find.  Me, I use Napolina chopped tomatoes and they have always worked well for me and they are available everywhere.  I use the chopped ones as they are the same price and they're getting mashed anyway so a lot of the work is already done.  Cirio are also good.

The Sauce.
1 x 400g tin of tomatoes (should make enough sauce for 4 pizzas)
1/4 tsp of fresh ground black pepper (or whatever suits your taste)
1/4 tsp of salt
1/2 to 1tsp of dried oregano

That is all you need to make a perfectly good tomato sauce.  Mix all the ingredients together, mash it down a bit with a fork or at potato masher - but do not blend or blitz it.  You will make it too smooth and most likely will crush all the bitter seeds.  You want a bit of a lumpy texture to this anyway.  Leave it in a covered dish in the fridge for a few hours to let the flavours develop and that's it done.

Note - if you are cooking your pizza in a wood-fired over, then there is no real need to cook the sauce first as wood-fired ovens are so hot they cook the sauce on the pizza (but sometimes I do).  However, if you are cooking the pizza in a regular oven (on a pizza stone) then you may want to cook the sauce through.  This thickens it a bit as well.  Once cooked, put into a covered dish and let it sit to cool and then store in the fridge till required.

Optionally for the sauce you can add any of the following:
1 tbsp of fresh, torn up (not chopped) basil leaves
Some very finely chopped or grated garlic to taste
A large splash of red wine vinegar
1tbsp of good olive oil

There you have it.  Perfect pizza sauce without that store-bought stink you get from sauce in a jar.

Ciao and enjoy.

Coming soon - dressing a pizza and cooking them to perfection.  In the meantime, here's a sampler to get you in the mood :-)